UsAndCats: 02/01/2009

My snobbery knows no bounds. I can freely admit this, in fact by so doing I increase my snobbery quotient 110%. Fortunately for me, my douchebaggery has decreased exponentially since marrying Wife (she makes up for my tendency toward douchiness). Now one might think that this is not possible, the standard equation is usually rendered:

Douchebaggery=((Snobbery+Oakley Shades) x Tattoos)²

However recent trends have changed this formula significantly. It can now be rendered as follows:

Douchebaggery=((Truck Nuts+Spoilers on Honda Civic) x Tattoos)²

This is known alternatively as the Dane Cook Quotient or the Uncle Ricco Theorum.

Now why do I bring up my snobbiness you might ask? Well let me tell you. Recently that greatest of time wasters, Facebook has been deluged by a meme purportedly from the BBC telling you that you're smarter than the average person because you've read more than six of these books. Let's ignore the fact that Dan Brown (that loathsome butt boil of the litterary world) made the list, or that Dune almost broke the top 50 (when we all know that was Patrick Stewart's worst movie) or that Jane Austin inexplicably came in at number one on the list (this is a bit like Day's of our Lives being hailed as the greatest TV show of all time). The fact is that it takes you five seconds of googling to realize that this list is complete bilge.

Yes the BBC did a list but it wasn't an editors choice, it was a readers poll and while there are some good reads on there this is hardly a list for an English Lit graduate class. After looking around a bit on the Interwebz I found a list that some more reputable people at the Modern Library had put together of the 100 greatest novels. Sadly I've read only 10 on the reader's list and 5 on the editor's. I think I like the Facebook list better I'd read 28 of those. Does that make me less of a snob?

Now since I haven't added this in awhile here's a new video from Blitzen Trapper. I could listen to this song all day, it's got a cool Dylanesque quality to it. Enjoy. (Oh and if you're reading this on Facebook, link to this actual site because honestly watching my visitor count go up helps stroke my ego and you won't be able to see this vid on FB.)

A few weeks ago, Husband, Sister-in-law and I drove to Solon, Iowa to pick up her puppy. Not the craziest thing I've ever been a part of, but it very easily may be the craziest thing I've ever done without a Cooper involved. Left our house just before 9pm on a Friday night, arrived back home just after 8am the following Sunday. Here's a synopsis of the trip:

New York - this isn't so bad. We've made the drive to Buffalo before. I felt rested and excited for a roadtrip. Some snow but the weather is very good for the last few days of January.

Pennsylvania - the roads here suck. So do the rest stops. I'm glad we're only driving through the smallest part of the state.

Ohio - Realizing that we only live about 7 hours from Kirtland, we should make it a vacation destination or at least drive through during the day and not the middle of the night. Cleveland rocks! This is the song that happened to come on the playlist while we drove through town. I love the lake. Someone else will have to drive back through Cleveland so I can have a look around. And Ohio, your restops? Panera and Starbucks? You're everything PA wasn't.

Indiana - You had me at a speed limit of 70 mph. You just don't get that in New York.

Illinois - Seriously, on a major interstate highway your speed limit is 45? Seriously. And what is this urge to bribe someone?

Across the Mississippi River - Amazing. I love large bodies of water (see Cleveland).

Iowa - I see many fields but none necessarily "of dreams." Cute puppy picked up an hour into Iowa so we turn around. This was around noon or 1pm Saturday.

Illinois - Still 45 mph, eh? Glad Husband is driving.

Indiana - Loving the 70 mph. Somewhere in here the puppy peed on Husband twice. Reason #1 I didn't sit in the backseat with puppy.

Ohio - Cleveland and Kirtland in the middle of the night again, eh? How did I end up driving again? Lots of cops in and around C-land, even a paddywagon and people getting busted for guns, drugs or both. The Kirtland temple needs lights illuminating it. If it was still ours, it would have lights. Did not appreciate the snow blowing across the roads. Ohio, grow some hills so this isn't a problem next time I drive across you.

Pennyslvania - Your roads still suck, as does your snow removal. I know its Erie in the middle of the night but still there are some cars out on the roads. I'm glad I left. I am officially over you.

New York - Home state but still 5 hours from home. Mostly sleep-driving the last hour or so.

We decided that I drove just over half of the total 36 hours and I only slept maybe 3 hours. I had taken off the Friday we left and napped much of the day. I slept from 9am-5pm that Sunday, missed church, but forced myself to stay up for the entire Super Bowl.

This is Gulliver. I love him.