Sunday, May 03, 2009

The Struggle of Dog and Lawn

Dogs are not good for lawns. There are several reasons for this which should be discussed specifically in regard to our new canine tenant, Gulliver.

1. Dogs like to dig. As a young lad one of my favorite things to do was to build snow and mud dams as melt ran down the hill of our upstate NY residence. I cannot explain the simple joy of watching the water you've dammed up flood right to the front door of your house although the subsequent parental rebuke, usually with the wooden spoon was less joyous. That said I didn't realize the full digging potential of a bored and mangy mongrel until I went outside for the first time after leasing some floor space to the rug dog. He has and continues to excavate the rear fondation of the UsandCats headquarters. I can only hope he's a pirate dog and searching for buried treasure, YARR! (Pirates would beat ninjas)

2. Dogs poop like every meal comes from a Chinese buffet. Okay perhaps their puppy piles aren't quite as toxic as they would be from a diet of General Tsao's, but they're still not pleasant. Nor are these urban land mines small. I estimate at current defecation levels my lawn will be 60% dog bomb 30% fallen tree limbs 10% dead grass by the end of the summer. Indeed one could say that Gulliver is quite defecatious. One could say that if it was a word.

3. Dogs seem to think that sprinklers are the devil. You remember the classic film The Waterboy? You remember how the protagonists mother sought to alert him to the evils of the world surrounding him by indicating its demonic origins? Well Gulliver too seems to think that sprinklers at the very least are "The Devil". Watch the following images and video for proof.


museumeg said...

Man, that dog couldn't get enough of that sprinkler. I like how he finally gave up and sat down to scratch himself.

Alissa said...

dogs love the sprinkler. best drink of water, ever.

i did want to comment on your neighbor's nice pile of crap against the fence... and holy heck that would annoy me.

Gretchen said...

Another few reasons I don't really want a dog.