Sunday, April 26, 2009

Out of the Mouth of a 9 year old

Tonight we had dinner with friends. Mexican. The food, not the friends.

After we ate I used the facilities. Turns out I had to do more than what I had intended when I first went into the bathroom. No problem. I finish, wash up and join the adults in the living room again.

A minute later, their almost 9 year old daughter goes to brush her teeth before bed. We hear her say, "Why does it stink in here?"

The adults almost die of laughter and, in my case, embarrassment. Their daughter is clueless as to what is so funny.

Friday, April 17, 2009

How can we tax it if they're giving it away?

Unbeknownst to most Americans, many New Yorkers, far too many Albany-ers, every governor we've ever had, and New York City itself, Albany is the capital of New York State. I work downtown and often find myself walking in front of, behind, or around (but never through-I don't feel like going through the equivalent of airport security) the capitol building. Several times each year there will be a rally taking place. My favorite is the annual springtime rally of Bikers Against Child Abuse.

Today, however, was a rally for the legalization of marijuana. I didn't taken any of the flyers offered to me, but I did admire many of the homemade posters adorning the capitol steps. Some of my favorites included:

Hemp is Wealth

New York CAN

Don't Encroach on my Roach

And then I saw the sign that said simply, "FREE MARIJUANA." Awesome, I thought, Let's go pick up some of this no-charge pot, come back downtown tomorrow, sell it and put the proceeds in the Forbes Baby Fund (which consists of the pennies in the jar under the microwave and the diapers that Pampers has been occassionally sending me for the past four years).

But it turns out that they were not really giving it away. Apparently marijuana is being held hostage somewhere by someone. Bummer. But I did do some people watching. Dreadlocks and tye dye and panchos, oh my! Before long I found myself repeating in my mind Eric Cartman's mantra of "Damn hippies."

Strangest Video Ever

If I got offered a job in Europe I would leave without even thinking twice. I would abandon my house. I would abandon my friends and family (except Wife, I'm awful fond of her and she'd kill me if I didn't take her with me). I would abandon my clothes (because let's face it Americans are a decade behind European fashion). I would board the next ship setting sale to the old world. So I guess in this strange fantasy I'd be a nude impoverished stowaway on a trans-Atlantic freighter...

Sorry I just wanted to see how disturbing you found that image. Very disturbing you say? Wife should return to her censorship role on this blog you say? Yeah you're probably right. Sorry about that.

In any case, my Europhilia (my spell check wants to make that necrophilia...I think I'll stop using spell check) lives on because of the over idealized memories of my time in France. (Ah que la France me manque.) The fact that Wife and I are foodies doesn't hurt my love of the old world either. Nor does the fact that the last time we were in France I managed to lose 10 pounds in 10 days hurt our desire to go back. Plus given my current elephantine proportions this weight loss would be very welcome. Though if we stay 200 days would that mean I disappear?

Yes I'm up above 200 again, the Wii fit already calls me obese and asks if I walk into walls you guys don't have to be mean too. Great, now I'm going to have to get some ice cream and turn on the Lifetime Movie network. Thanks a lot. (For more information regarding my mood swings see my upcoming post on Wife's other blog.)

Really what calls me back to the mother land though is quirky videos like this one. (Sorry Astrid but Sweden must be a weird place)