Friday, January 09, 2009

Debt Erradication Made Simple

Given today's market situation I thought it wise to give a few slices from that infinite pie of wisdom I call my brain (mmm...pie). (This post is primarily for our American audience so foreigners just sit back and enjoy the show) First off for our American readers remember, spending money on high ticket things is a solemn duty to protect and preserve our God given democracy. It doesn't matter that the boat you're buying is made in Ulaanbaatar of Jamaican parts shipped using Chechen smugglers. Your purchase is helping to keep salesman who studied English Lit employed.

Also remember that we're beyond the day and age where skills like: sewing your own clothes, fixing your own car, or cooking your own meals are of any real utility. Remember by not doing things ourselves we're helping others make an honest days wage. Lastly remember that the 50-70 hours you work every week while being only compensated for 40 is a noble rite of passage that you must follow in order to rise to the top of the bourgeois trash heap that is corporate America.

Fortunately for most of us (and you'll know this by any new reporting on obesity in America) we're all roughly the size of small blue whales. Thus we can rely on our natural reserves of blubber to get us through the lean times to come, oh and I think I'm going to cut back on toilet paper, no more than two squares a seating.

Here's a bit of SNL prescience from 2006:

4 comments:

m3ng said...

Priceless!

So what you're saying is, if I don't have money, don't buy stuff?

Alissa said...

my kids watched this with matt... all day long "don't buy stuff you can't afford!!"... like we need a reminder that we're broke.

Roy said...

But all I got from this entry was a hankering for pie. I'll charge it...

Wendy said...

I love that clip. I'll try to remember that next time I want to buy something.