Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Becoming the Perfect Son-In-Law III: Blood and Circus

Now you've all become used to two things with this blog: 1. me never posting in anything resembling a timely manner, and 2. my inexcusable kissing up to my in-laws. Now I know there's no real reason for me to kiss up to my in-laws. They're not a whole lot different from my family, well except for the fact they're completely different from mine. Still I think the main reason I kiss up is so that they don't exclude me when they go to cool sporting events. Oh and so I stay ahead of Jason on the "Best Son In-Law" list. See if cheating by getting your wife pregnant will count for anything now pal!

So as I mentioned before my father-in-law came up to visit to help us blow in attic insulation. During his visit he mentioned an upcoming boxing match down at George Mason University for which he had tickets. Those of you who've known me a long time know how I have always tried to carry myself with a demeanor befitting one of the New England aristocracy. Now the fact that persona is a complete lie does not take away from the fact that I disdain the more gladatorial contests like wrestling and boxing.

In fact you should know that the tradition of gladiators stems from the Roman emperor Gladatorius Ignoramous. It was he who realized that hitting people over the head with sticks wasn't as much fun as watching others do it to each other. In fact that's where the laurel wreaths of the Roman empire came from, the branches with which they walloped each other, but I digress.

In any case, I of course would not deign to enjoy such a base display of testosterone. Well so I thought until I found out that the seats were ring side. Now we all have a little Roman emperor inside us. When I realized I would be close enough to have the broken teeth hit me in the face, I could not turn down the offer. I mean short of being a doctor how often do you get to be bathed in another man's blood?

Did I enjoy it? Did I find the pugalistic arts more impressive than I assumed they'd be? Did I spend the whole night trying to figure out if all of my boxing knowledge was based on Rocky? And did I keep flashing back to Rocky IV and his inability to throw in his towel to save Apollo Creed? YES, YES, YES, and Hell YES! (WHY ROCKY? WHY?)

In all honesty it was the single most entertaining sporting event I've ever been to. The speed coupled with the brutality those guys displayed was amazing. I understand now why the Roman's fed the Christians to the lions...because the non-lion food people all cheered! Here's too Jimmy Lange the new WBC Super Welterweight (whatever that is) Champion. Well done my man!


Ethan's Mom said...

Boxing? Really?

Mr Jo Bloggity said...

Stew, I think that I would have much the same reaction.

Please ignore my wife, she thinks Die Hard is a comedy and doesn't understand the finer points that can only be expressed through violence.

Roy @ CNM said...

Next thing you know you'll be supporting a Republican for office and buying a gun. Upstate NY has been bad for you, very bad.

dastew said...

Is it wrong then that I voted for a Rep, for town tax collector? I just couldn't convince myself to vote for a Dem in that position.

As to Die Hard, it is indeed a comedy, I'm sorry to disappoint.

Also I must ask, how is Upstate NY worse than Utah for one's political orientation?

Ethan's Mom said...

Also, having kids is the only way I can compete with my sister-in-law. Don't knock it.

GK said...

Ok, Under Siege was a comedy, I mean c'mon, a chef trim enough to do martial arts?

But Die Hard is a serious piece of media, it can not be stressed enough.

Panini said...

oh my.