Tuesday, March 27, 2007

The Dog Shack

So I pretty much am the worst blogger ever. The sad part about it is that I still come back and check my blog to see if you guys have left anything interesting in the comments section. Have you? Of course not because I haven't written anything in a month.

Well that's about to change, from henceforth I will write fortnightly....except when I don't.

That's the kind of stick-to-itiveness that has allowed me to start five diets and six exercise regimens this year alone. While that may not sound good to you, if you think about it that means I'm at least doing something to better my health almost every week. Of course the fact that I've included the "bacon diet" and the "Chinese Buffet diet" in that calculation probably doesn't help my cholesterol at all (though the latter diet doesn't stick with you very long).

As disgusting as my dietary habits are they pale in comparison to those of my dear sweet wife. Yes I might lick the sour cream spoon clean when I'm making beef stroganoff, and yes I do think that Chinese food is good despite the cat in it (maybe because of the cat). But Wife thinks things like this are good:
Yes that slightly troubling looking item that Wife is eating is a Milky Way bar battered and fried. Now this disgusting delicacy that hails from the north of England is healthy compared to her new favorite food.

Just outside my home town there's an establishment that I frequented as a youth known as The Dog Shack. Yes it lives up to its name. This 10X15 foot establishment is nothing more than a counter and some deep fryers, in which they make the nastiest hot dogs on the good Lord's earth. As vile as these things may seem where else can you get three dogs with the works for $.99 ($1.49 now with inflation)? Now I introduced Wife to this establishment in hopes of having her share in my catharsis as I returned to my youthful haunts. Sadly she discovered something that I did not know they made...
CHEESY CURLY FRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This vile concoction is part curly fry, part industrial lubricant (i.e. nacho cheese sauce). The making of this product is quick and easy:

1. Fry fries in oil that's never been changed.
2. Fill a gallon Styrofoam container halfway with curly fries.
3. Pour industrial lubricant over the top.
4. Put in the rest of the fries.
5. Smother the new fries with enough lubricant so that faith is required to know there are fries in there.
6. Watch your customer's arteries clog in real time.

I'll try to get pictures of this most decadent of treats next time we make it to my mother country.

I have a new website for all of you to check out it's one of my new favorites:

The guy does strange maps...yes I'm a nerd but look, it's the regional breads of France!


Panini said...

oooh, I love that map!! Orem has the best French bakery. You guys should try to find one. For not much more than you're spending on those disgusting hot dogs, you could be getting creme broulee or flan -- i love flan!

John J said...

We are so getting curly fries the next time I come out.

Anonymous said...

You've got to write more Stu, this blog brightens up my week. The cat thing - slayed me.

dastew said...

Who the heck is anonymous?

Anonymous said...

GK from avlis, you wanted a comment so you got one :)

dastew said...

HAHAHA...ah that makes sense. Which reminds me its about time I publish my post on my inner nerd.

Alissa said...

welcome back to blogland. Carolyn and I must have similar eating habits. I attribute it to our upbringing around all thems Amish folk.

Anonymous said...

Oh what memories flood the mind when the Dog Shack is mentioned. So many trips there for such cheap food. I have not eaten there in a few years...and my arteries are thanking me for it but my mouth longs for the three dogs all smooshed together covered in "special sauce" which can only be as good for you as the industrial lubricant. Next time you make it to the "mother land" have some for me.