Friday, December 01, 2006

Politics, Home Repair and Jock Itch, Part 2

So we've discussed politics. Now for part two of our triumverate of unpleasant things,
I can see you're as terrified as I am.

To fully understand the horror of home ownership I need to take you back two years ago last month. My wife and I recently had acquired good jobs which provided us a comfortable enough living, or so we thought, to purchase a house. And so we undertook the process of house shopping. House shopping is unlike any other shopping. Unlike clothes or cars you can neither try on or test drive a house. With house shopping you have to know what you're looking to avoid, e.g. carpenter ants, windows made before the rise of steam power, and of course ghosts you've gotta avoid ghosts.

Unfortunately first time home owners don't always know these things. In fact it's easier to determine if your house is haunted than if you have the other two aforementioned problems (In answer to your unspoken question, yes your house is haunted everybody's is). You can't always tell if the carpenter ants are just hiding in the house, or if the windows weren't just painted by the former owner's kids to make them look newer.

Now let's get back to us. So after being outbid on three houses, Wife and I were getting desperate. Then we saw this house. We both liked the hard wood floors and the vaulted ceilings were pretty cool. Since we were getting frustrated with the process and we didn't want to kill off another real estate agent (Seriously our first agent got in a head on crash with a tractor trailer on her way home from showing us a house. She survived but was in pretty rough shape for awhile.), we put a bid on the house as it was the best we'd seen in awhile. While surprise, surprise we got it.

Can you imagine how excited we were? Well unfortunately, the love affair was short. We found that the former owners were nice enough to take in all the carpenter ants in a five county radius and put them up in the front door. Someone of course had decided to cover up these residents by placing a nice board over the infected area. We only found out they were there when they turned over a petition to me asking me to turn up the thermostat. I took care of them in turn by removing the infected wood and laying enough ant poison to kill a small village.

That experience taught us a valuable lesson that everyone should bare in mind, home ownership is an unending expense. On top of the constant repairs, upgrades, and things that break you have to deal with taxes and fees. Then there are the ever important familial debates with the house, like which room will be the nursery and which will house my collection of baseball cards, where to put the piano vs. where to put the plasma screen tv (c'mon Santa be a pal I really want one) or the most important of all what color should each room be painted.

So we finally arrive at the real story about me falling through the ceiling. Now I know Wife indicated that this was some kind of foolishness on my part. In fact some have gone so far as to suggest if I dropped fifty pounds it might have supported me (I'm not that fat people, though you'll still never see my "fat pirate" photo from this summer). The real reason I jumped through the ceiling (doing a nice triple flip on the way down through) was to force us to paint the bedroom. That's right! That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I certainly didn't just put all of my weight on the dry wall instead of on the crossbeams, that would be foolish. No I wanted to paint the bedroom. Now because of my bravery in forcing this issue I got my way. So there. Now for some photos:
Sexy me painting my recently fallen through ceiling.

The color we finally decided on. We used some mild texturing but you can't really tell from this angle.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and actually try to link this to a video from YouTube. Song of the day Jean-Jacques Goldman: Sache Que Je. One of the better songs I heard when I was a missionary over in France. Here's the link, I'll go back and link some of the other songs I've mentioned when I have the time:

Oh and since I haven't done it in awhile here's a recipe for you one of my favorites:
Gine's Bread
8 Cups Flour
3 Tbsp Sugar
1 Tbsp Salt
1 Cup Butter (melted-lukewarm)
2/3 Cup Milk
1 Cup Water
2 Tsp Yeast
2 Egg Yolks

Preheat oven to 375. Mix your dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl. I prefer to add a little cinnamon as well to give it a bit more flavor. In a separate bowl activate the yeast in the warm water. Add the milk to the liquids bowl and add a pinch of sugar. Let sugar activate five minutes. Melt or soften the butter. Wait for it to cool long enough so it doesn't curdle the milk. Add it to the rest of the liquids. Making a well in the dry ingredients add the liquids. Mix a little flour into the liquids to make a "sponge", let stand for ten minutes. Mix in the rest of the dry ingredients and knead thoroughly. Add flour as needed during the kneading process. Divide dough in two equal parts. Let rest for twenty minutes. Roll out each part into 1 to 1 1/2 foot long snakes, the dough should be about an inch in diameter. Braid the two snakes together using water to fuse the four ends of the braid. Tuck the ends under the bread. Let rise for 1 hour or until fully proofed. Glaze with beaten egg yolks. Cook at 375 for about an hour (may take longer depending on how thick you make the bread). Serve hot with honey butter or nutella.

Bon Appetit.


John said...

I really, really hope there won't be a part 3.

Alissa said...

are you kidding?! i can't wait for part 3!

Alissa said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
SomePeople said...

I really thought everyone would be anxious for part 3. Either way I'll post something next week.

Ethan's Mom said...

Did anyone else catch the hint about a nursery???