Tuesday, November 07, 2006

So I'm incredibly vain (this is husband why the way, I want in no way to insinuate that wife is vain, she is the most wonderful and compassionate person I know). I know you're shocked by this news but it's true. I take pride in being the smartest one at parties (who else knows that one of the underrated turning points of the American Revolution was the not so legendary Battle of Valcour Island ), I love the fact that I am the only guy at church who wears cuff links on a regular basis, and I love the fact that I have beautiful straight teeth.

Well I must now confess I'm living a lie. While I might still be the smartest guy at parties and I do look sleek in my mostly blue white collared french cuff dress shirt, my teeth are neither straight nor beautiful.

You see I had this problem as a child my baby teeth didn't want to fall out. In fact they wanted to stay in so much that I had to have many of them removed. Yet my many layered teeth also caused my parents to spend thousands of dollars in orthodontia. Here's a picture of me before the orthodontia:
Terrifying isn't it (sorry for the extreme closeup)? This is me afterward:

Okay maybe that's some actor, the point is that I had beautiful teeth. Until one tragic night where some dear friends of ours decided to teach me to ice skate. All was going well until until a little girl skated out in front of an oncoming Zamboni. No one else was near her so I skated out awkwardly to stop her from her instant doom. Leaping from off the ice I sailed ten feet pushing the child to safety. I fortunately also slid out of the way of the behemoth of the ice, but was scarred by my teeth meeting the ice. My front two teeth broke in half, but it was a small price to pay (actually the price was not that small) to save a child. Or at least that's the version of the story I'll be telling my children for the rest of my life.

In any case I had my new dentist recently put crowns on my teeth to repair them. They looked beautiful. Or at least did until another dentist gave me candy as part of the vast dental conspiracy which is Halloween. I managed to chip one of my crowns on a Butterfinger. The repair job my dentist did was chipped again (four days later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) on a piece of pizza. In other words my vanity is now being dealt a big dose of humility in the form of bad looking teeth. Here's the most recent photo:
So much for my vanity!

Song of the day: La Tribu de Dana by the French Celtic rap artists Manau. All I have to say about them is this, it's about time someone included bagpipes in a rap album!


Panini said...

;) Sorry about the teeth man, what a bad rap!

Alissa said...

remind me to tell you about the dental hell i've been undergoing...